I Accidentally Saved the Male Lead’s Brother - Chapter 70 - END

Adelaid

Well done. The only thing I would consider to do would be to have more character interactions with the main characters. Especially with the brothers and the parents and the main villains.

I would give a bit more agency and assertiveness between the brothers and their sister. Older brothers (from what I’ve heard) can be very protective. And as the reader I got the impression they are but there was no action to support that idea. Only words.

With the parents, just giving them more screen time and making them mentor figures. It would be nice to see more of them and they are a couple very refreshing parents. Not to over the top but also not too serious. They feel real. I like how the dad is portrayed as a calm and serious man but one who is also gentle and kind and respectful and loving. Don’t get me wrong I like a good funny, dramatic father every once in a while but since that is mostly the norm for dads it is a breath of fresh air to read someone different. I also like the mother as well, she was lovable and kind and caring and she had a mellowness about her that didn’t make her feel sad but more grounded and secure. She wasn’t over the top or pushy or invasive and that is amazing. She is nice. If I could visit any of the characters for a hour I would love to meet them. They are really well written and their dynamic is beautiful.

Finally with the villains I feel like you could go a lot bigger and grander with them. You set the stage for an awesome final showdown but it ended too quickly and we didn’t even get to see the villain be defeated. And I was really looking forward to the MML punching the MV in the face. You could also play with the fact that the MFL was someone the main villain needed, since he too was a Rosetta. It was hinted at earlier so it wouldn’t be surprising if he kidnapped her or tried to win her over and she double crosses him, or he tries to win her over but when that fails he gets the mentality of, ‘if I can’t have her no one will’. That would cause a lot of conflict and bring in tension between the two main characters as to who is being the true burden in their relationship.

Also the Penelope’s plot kinda faded away and was forgotten about. There is so much potential in her. You could use her as a spy, make her a damsel in distress, give her a romantic side quest with another character (not the MML), have her become besties with the MFL…

So yeah, all in all mainly just improving on side characters screen time and development. Apart from that I love the story and I look forward to seeing how it evolves and develops in the future.

January 4, 2025 at 3:10 pm

3 Comments

Reader 45918

I totally agree with Jake and isaac,

October 27, 2024 at 6:28 pm

Log in to Reply
Adelaid

Well done. The only thing I would consider to do would be to have more character interactions with the main characters. Especially with the brothers and the parents and the main villains.

I would give a bit more agency and assertiveness between the brothers and their sister. Older brothers (from what I’ve heard) can be very protective. And as the reader I got the impression they are but there was no action to support that idea. Only words.

With the parents, just giving them more screen time and making them mentor figures. It would be nice to see more of them and they are a couple very refreshing parents. Not to over the top but also not too serious. They feel real. I like how the dad is portrayed as a calm and serious man but one who is also gentle and kind and respectful and loving. Don’t get me wrong I like a good funny, dramatic father every once in a while but since that is mostly the norm for dads it is a breath of fresh air to read someone different. I also like the mother as well, she was lovable and kind and caring and she had a mellowness about her that didn’t make her feel sad but more grounded and secure. She wasn’t over the top or pushy or invasive and that is amazing. She is nice. If I could visit any of the characters for a hour I would love to meet them. They are really well written and their dynamic is beautiful.

Finally with the villains I feel like you could go a lot bigger and grander with them. You set the stage for an awesome final showdown but it ended too quickly and we didn’t even get to see the villain be defeated. And I was really looking forward to the MML punching the MV in the face. You could also play with the fact that the MFL was someone the main villain needed, since he too was a Rosetta. It was hinted at earlier so it wouldn’t be surprising if he kidnapped her or tried to win her over and she double crosses him, or he tries to win her over but when that fails he gets the mentality of, ‘if I can’t have her no one will’. That would cause a lot of conflict and bring in tension between the two main characters as to who is being the true burden in their relationship.

Also the Penelope’s plot kinda faded away and was forgotten about. There is so much potential in her. You could use her as a spy, make her a damsel in distress, give her a romantic side quest with another character (not the MML), have her become besties with the MFL…

So yeah, all in all mainly just improving on side characters screen time and development. Apart from that I love the story and I look forward to seeing how it evolves and develops in the future.

January 4, 2025 at 3:10 pm

Log in to Reply